Junior year examination result! :)

Okay this is gonna be a really short post 'cos I have been really really busy. I am writing this post to inform my readers the utter joy God bestowed on me lately in form of my junior year final examination result. I scored the 2nd highest percentage in my grade. MashAllah! :) I am so Happy and grateful.

My mom and dad are really happy too, although my dad has problems with my Math marks. He says I could have scored a little better. And I am disappointed a little about my English marks, 'cos I was expecting a little more in that. But over all, I am thankful and happy! :) And I would like to share this joy with you!

Tata! :)

.......

I know that I haven't posted for like ages and probably most of you have already forgotten this girl, who babbles a lot and over thinks and gets disappointed over the tiniest of the things and then works her way out.

Well, jog your memories, people, 'cos seriously I am an unforgettable kinda person. I mean, somewhere in the corner of your mind, you'll always find me jumping around. Hehe! Oh gosh, it has been such a long time since I last wrote that I don't know where to begin from. Umm... Well.. Let's begin from school.

Okay, so my pre-boards are about to start. Pre-boards are the exams we have before our finals. They are like preparatory tests. My syllabus is far from being under control. Whenever I open the books, things just jump onto me, making there presence felt, screaming that they have to covered. Those screams terrify me!

I just waste a lot of time, mostly 'cos I watch a lot of T.V. In fact I snort T.V like a drug. It is so difficult to get me away from it, once I switch it on. It's almost the same with me and social networking, social networks have super-glue powers.

Apart from that my junior year is finally about to end. Thing are just making a peaceful finish, just like in those Disney fairy-tale movies when the princess finally gets together with the prince and the the words 'The End' appear in glitter.

When I look back at my year, I realize that I learned so much in junior year. I see myself as such a mature and responsible adult now, which I certainly was not when I made my way in to junior year. I have improved, I know how to handle situations, how to deal with different sorts of people, how to have fun and let go of things. I learned how to stand by my decisions, how to accept things the way they are. I feel satisfied with whoever I am and whatever Allah gave me. Cos I know, I am far better than a lot of others and no wonder, to Allah I shall always remain thankful.

I have had hard times and disappointments and turn downs; but on the contrary some really good moments came my way as well. Some hysterical ones too, I should admit, but all in all a perfect mixture that taught me all the valuable lessons one could learn in her junior year.

I have finally found a group of real nice friends and we have awful fun time together. We make fun of each other and laugh wildly at stuff. Things have finally fallen into places. There still are people who create problems, but then again, I can't make the whole freakin' world work the way I want it to. Some things should let be.

Moving from high school, today I was really missing my sophomore year and my friends in that school. I have mentioned before that after sophomore, I switched schools. I was kinda missing the chill kinda person I used to be there. Everybody's favorite, loved and cared for. In junior year, things are harsh, but life doesn't always give you lemons; sometimes you gonna deal with hazelnuts. (I really don't know why I wrote that, but it makes sense somewhere in my head!! :P)

Mr.Anonymous, I feel delighted that you actually like my blog so much that you mailed me to make me write a post. Well, here you go, a very not-so-entertaining or juicy-gossipy kinda post, but a post all the same.

I am so sorry, that I don't blog often and don't return reader's comments. Nevertheless, I am gratified that you consider my blog worthy enough to stop by and read my bakwaas (the Urdu word for 'useless babble')

Till, I-don't-know-when, bye! :)

Making things work...

The last time I made a post I was feeling awfully glum and gloomy. I felt confused, defeated and lost. Things in school can be really harsh at times and you just stand there and stare as things take over you. People make journeys from zeros to heroes, from nobodies to somebodies, while you are just invisible. A nobody. A mere shadow, nothing else.

Well, to my joy, I have taken control over such feelings. I have shut them up in the less-cared-of corner of my mind. So what, if I am a nobody in high school. So what, if the hot guys don't notice me. So what, if all the popular and pretty girls underestimate me. So what, if I am a pathetic loser?

I took some time and sorted out a lot of stuff. I thought over stuff, I learned to accept some harsh realities. Life really isn't as complicated as we make it. Allah has gifted us with a life which can be as simple and uncomplicated as anything, but we choose to make it difficult and incomprehensible. We choose to tie knots and cry over them. (Seriously I do that a lot!)

The problem is that I can't help it. I am this really over sensitive person, who thinks a lot. A LOT. Things are so over thought inside my head that it gets absolutely impossible to digest them the way they are. I turn a small knot into this one big knot.

So, anyway, with a huge help from my mom, my dad, my cousin Ash, my friends at school -I just love them- my blog readers: Galikea, Amy, 'fly in the web', and Ayak , I am finally almost over the sad stuff; for now. I never know when events might force me into transferring the sad thoughts back into obsessed part of my mind. But for now, I am as happy as birds in spring. I am chirpy! :)

So in the past few days, I figured some really important things, which got me back up again.

Here they are:

1, Those who believe in themselves the least, have the most to offer. -Kyle, from Kyle XY said this, and it just got me!-

2, Life is an occasion, rise to it. -from some movie-

3, Life is a monotony, unless you have lived as a loser once. That is what, being an All-Pakistani girls is all about. She goes through everything. And losing is a part of it. So I am happy that Allah has given me this chance to lose, so I rejoice to a greater extent when victory comes my way again. -I figured this out on my own-

4, People who matter, love me, unconditionally.

5, Allah has given me more than I can ask for.

6, I have been a great achiever in my past. I have been the editor of the school magazine. A paid writer in a newspaper. A position-holder in examinations. So what, if others take me as a loser, I have been bestowed with wonderful things to be proud of.

7, I have my life in front of me. Many opportunities and people, who'll always support me through thick and thin.

8, In this world, people are going through worse situations than I go through. Hunger and poverty. I think, it's selfish for me to grieve over my little, meaningless sorrows and ignore what others go through.

After all this, I don't think it's fair to remain glum and gloomy. Being happy is vital, I have big aims and big goals. If I go weak, I might not be able to make the journeys that lie ahead. So with many knots untied, I continue with my life, happy, satisfied and gratified. After all, this life is too short to cry over stuff, all the time!

Thanks for visiting my blog, even though I don't gt time to return your comments. I am awfully sorry about that.

When things just don't work..

It's been a long time since I last blogged. High school just keeps me so busy I hardly get time. And usually when my high school routine spares me some time, I am so tired that I just fling myself on the bed and snooze off.

The past week, I was really busy. I had the science project thing going on. I had two projects on my plate. And trust me, science projects are no joke at all. I had to work my ass off to get them right . I was up the whole night, the day before yesterday to work on my management sciences project. I got no sleep at all last week. So yesterday, when I came home I went to bed at five in the evening and woke up at nine in the morning. Thats like almost 16 hors of sleep. WOAH!! And during that period, I had like 6-7 dreams and they crossed my mind at different times through the day. Well, if it isn't already obvious, I am one heck of a dreamer, literally!

Anyway, I mentioned that I was running for the elections, in my previous posts. Well, I feel really bad to write that I wasn't selected. The committee threw me out of the whole election scene, although I spoke my heart out in the interview. I just failed to understand where did I go wrong. I gave in a 100% in my interview. I just really wanted it to work.

You know, things have been going really really wrong for me. I have turned into a loser, a social reject in high school. Everything I try out for, I don't get it. Even the people in the English literary society don't consider me as a member. They don't include me in anything.

So, when I came home yesterday, I cried my heart out in front of my mom. I was so disappointed in myself. It's as if all the popular people rule. It's just them and no one else. I really don't know why I didn't get to run in the elections. I gave in such an intellectual-kinda interview. Maybe, my tears aren't worth it. But it still felt awful bad.

Anyway, I feel much better now, I prayed to Allah, and I know that he is the Master. He has planned things for me and I don't need to cry over His decisions. No wonder, His decisions hold importance over all mine. May my decisions always be overshadowed by His. Ameen. Today, while praying I understood this. Now, I don't feel that bad.

Today, the schools are off, due to a public holiday. And the best part is I still have two days to look forward to. I need sometime at home, to get away from all the drama; some time with my family.

I really really miss my cousin today. It's been long since we last met and I desperately need that one-to-one time with her, when we go all crazy and stuff. I seriously miss that. I hope she visits soon.

Well, that's all that I wanted to say. I don't know when I'll be blogging next, I hope it's sometime soon. :)

A highly fashionable post!

I was watching 'Bride Wars' today -which happens to be a very entertaining movie I must say- when it occurred to me that I should post about Anne Hathaway. I have been an Anne Hathaway fan, since 'The Princess Diaries' came out. I mean, she is absolutely brilliant! Her acting, no wonder, is really good, but above that, I love her physique and her bold features. Her smile, her eyes and the way her cheek bones give her that triangular face, absolutely dashing.

And to top it all, Anne Hathaway's style sense is certainly the thing that makes me a big fan of hers. I have followed Hathaway's journey, from 'The Princess Diaries' through 'Ella Enchanted', 'The Devil wears a Prada' and 'Get Smart' to 'Bride Wars' and each time, Hathaway managed to surprise her audience with amazing get ups [okay, I don't know about the audience, but she did surprise me!]

So here are some beautiful pictures, I searched out, with comments by me. By the end of this post, you'll understand why I like her so much!

The green coat, makes my heart skip a beat!! The gloves and the shoes give such an elegant yet chic look! Just W.O.W

The haircut looks... -wordless- soo good!

Has to be one of the most dashing dress I have ever set my eyes on. Worn by Hathaway, looks 10 times better!

I have a thing for bows and polka dots. When put together, you get this pretty red top, which sets my style senses tingling!

Another green coat, that makes my heart skip a beat!

The very cute Princess Mia. This dress, just makes me wanna be a princess. And seriously, me and princess, so don't go together!

The shoes: HOT. The outfit: HOT. Anne Hathaway: ON FIRE!

Is my love for coats too obvious? And well the boots are fabulous!

Classic white collar shirt, with a black top, fabulous necklaces and a cap. Amazing!!

What a -out of adjectives- coat!! Very chic!

You just read a highly fashionable post. I have never blogged about fashion before, but I hope my readers get, that my style sense, it ain't so bad.

Well before ending the post just a little update about me. I am running in the college elections, I have an interview this Monday probably. I hope I get selected. I am starting to really like the group of really nice friends around me who support me through everything. The competition for the elections is tough but I do hope that I win. I have a parent-teacher meeting in school tomorrow. I hope it goes well.

Have a nice weekend everyone.

A boring sunday post.

I am turning into a lazzzyyy freak! I don't feel like doing anything except for Facebook and TV these days. I go to high school, come back home, sleep like a baby, wake up, watch TV, facebook, read a book and then in my comfy bed again!

As usual, I have loads on my mind, high school, friends, life, college, future, exams and a lot of junk. Now what I need to do is clean up the junk in my mind and focus on really important stuff. I have finally settled in my high school and by settling in I mean that now I don't give a damn about what others think about me, like I used to. I had this bunch of people in my grade who used to give me a freakin' tough time but I figured that they only give me a tough time, cos I care. When I stopped caring, things, they did stopped mattering! And above all I have the most wonderful group of friends around me, so high school is really not a pain anymore. :) We have such a good time together, that I hardly get time to think about what others are doing!

Anyway, we have a science fair coming up in February and I have been working for that these days. Yesterday, I went over at my friend's place to work for the project and there was this another guy from our class who came too. He happens to be in our project group. So he came and we worked together and talked loads. It was fun, except for this point that the guy was being awfully weird and filmy and melodramatic. I mean, he was talking in lines from the films. It was soo stupid! So stupid! It felt weird!

I would also like to thank all those readers who read my 50th post and shared my excitement with me. -yeah I do get excited about small stuff-

I would like to express my utmost gratitude to Ayak, for posting about me on her blog and giving me a blog award! :) I would like to thank Galikea, Mel and Amy Grohndahl for being such regular readers and leaving wonderful comments.

So there were two readers who commented last time and I was not able to return there comments. And there is this thing that I am really intrigued about people who comment on my posts and I always visit there blogs in return. One of these people was Hassan, I tried visiting his blog, but I couldn't because I was not allowed to access it. So if you are reading this post Hassan, I would really love to visit your blog sometime!

The other person was Anonymous. He/she didn't even mention his/her name, but he/she asked me if I use any sort of IM or something, well, if he/she is reading this, add me up on Facebook, I have the badge posted on the side bar of my blog!

Anyway, I have a major test coming up and I have to study a lot for it, I have to work for my project and I have to work for my final exams. I have school tomorrow and it's ten.

For those who found the post boring, I'll try to post something better next time. :)

Where do I stand??

I have been pretty busy lately preparing for my Mid-terms.  I am trying to put most of my time in studies. Pretty unsuccessful though, I don't think I am still putting in 100%. It is not even 50%, dang! The thing is I am addicted to my blog and all those who leave their comments on my posts. Yesterday while practicing trigonometry, a thought about Amy randomly made it's way in my mind and then I started thinking about Mel and Galikae and Ayak. I wondered what was happening around in their lives. Therefore I promised that I'll update my blog tomorrow and visit everyone else's. So here I am.

Now let's begin with what has been up in my life. Well to begin with, I am starting to lose faith in myself. I am clinging hard to that little string that says: 'It's alright!'. I want to do so much. But my determination doesn't seem to have the magnetic quality of attracting opportunities. The right opportunity doesn't fall in my lap at the right time. I did the debate, I screwed up! I didn't get the editor thing for the school magazine. I got into the English literary society, but nothing ever happens over there. I have lost faith in my writing skills, my public speaking skills. I don't even think, I write that good, anymore. There are so many talented people around me, they use such big words. I never get a big word when I want to. My writings are so stupid and simple. My debate sucked, I know. That is why I lost. I don't even know what people think of me!! :(

I want to do so much. I want to change the world someday, I aspire to do a lot. I have big aims for tomorrow. But I am soo weak at heart. I lose hope quickly, I have faced many failures in life and no wonder they have made me strong. I wait restlessly for my moment, which I call as my moment. I know I suck at writing, I am not even talented or creative!!! Where do I stand?? Which quality do I possess? I seriously have no clue!! 

So I cling to my faith in God and hope that He'll help me retrieve my faith in myself. I shed a tear or two sometimes, but I pray that things will get better. And I try my best to believe that they will, 'cos after all I have faith in God. And that helps. 

I am finally down to my 50th-post. I have a surprise for my blog readers. I am busy these days and don't get time to return comments. I just want to tell y'all that you are the nicest blog readers ever and your comments; they always help! Love ya.   

Here is a hit new Pakistani song I am addicted to..enjoy! IT IS H.O.T!! :P

 

Away from school, less complications!

So I am enjoying my weekend, doing absolutely nothing. Although I have to study A LOT! My midterms are approaching but I am doing absolutely nothing. I just facebook, all day long! I blog and I chat with my friends. I have tried opening books but I shut them every time I open them up. Then I return back to my laptop. That is all that I do these days!

By the way, I feel important to mention over here that I have been a little naughty over the weekend and I have been stalking people on facebook, and when I say people, I mean 'this girl' and 'a guy'. Now I think that 'this girl' has a major crush on 'a guy' and she LOOVES his attention! Absolutely! She puts on statuses for him and she puts on bumper stickers for him. 'This girl' is a friend of mine and I have noticed some change in her attitude. She would NEVER agree that she is crushing on him, but I have talked about this to a lot of people. And everyone drew out the same conclusion: 'this girl' likes 'a guy'. Now 'this girl' and 'a guy' are always chatting on statuses through comments and everything. It seems really stupid, how hard 'this girl' has fallen for 'a guy'!! I just know she has fallen for him.

Now I really don't know if 'a guy' has fallen for this girl or not. 'Cos as far as I know 'a guy' likes someone else and only takes 'this girl' as a friend. I don't know how accurate my presumption is but 'this girl' certainly likes 'a guy'! No doubts about that!! Na-un!

So anyway, I have been stalking both of them since yesterday, visiting their wall and reading through their conversations and analyzing them. I relate 'this girls' bumper stickers and other such stuff to 'a guy' and everything seems soo obvious! I feel like screaming DUH at the top of my lungs.

Yesterday, I showed all the conservations and stuff that they had on facebook to my cousin. I was acting out all the lines that were written as 'this girl' and 'a guy'. We laughed our head off! GOSH, that was funny! :P

Life is more fun, when the cursed name of 'high school' doesn't interfere the sweet lyrics of my life. I have awful fun at home, doing nothing. Anyway, life puts forth challenges and you have to skid through those. I try my level best to skid through my challenges, with God's help. I hope God gives everyone the courage to move on with life.

Anyway, I'll be reaching a 50th post pretty soon and I am thinking of doing something special! I'll let it be a surprise! :) Happy Sunday people! :)

P.S: Please join the Hair, Nails, Blogs community! It is on my sidebar! :)

Crying day!

So I broke, unintentionally into tears today at the lunch time in front of my friends and probably a lot of other people around. I just couldn't help it, two bad days in a row were just too much for me to handle!

Yesterday, I lost the debate. Today, I lost the post for the support co-editor of the school magazine. And there is this teacher's pet girl who got that. Just because she has been to America while I am just a local. My teacher wouldn't want me!!

So when I heard about this, I was soo flabbergasted that I started crying, hot burning tears started rolling down my cheeks. I couldn't stop crying. My friends went all wary, they started consolidating and stuff. It is nice to have a good bunch of people around you, who try to make you feel better even when it is next to impossible!

So, then in a crybaby voice, I told the 'Gothic inside' guy everything that had happened, and he cheered me up in a really nice way. nice guy he is! :)

The real reason, I was really disappointed was that in my old school a friend of mine and I, were selected as the editors. I did all the work while my friend chilled out. And when the magazine came out, her name was there as the editor all-the-same! She was given equal credit!

Anyway, her friend showed the magazine to a teacher and the teacher got her selected for the post of second post. The first one was taken by the teacher's pet girl. This boiled me up to the brim... I was all like, a girl can get the post in regard of the work she never did and I couldn't get it for my own freakin' hard work!

So this made me cry and I cried my heart out when I came back home and my mom was worried sick. She hates when I cry..I hate that too!! But I couldn't help it.

A girl of my class read my blog and now I'm kinda cautious!! I did make her promise that she won't read it again, I hope she sticks to that, or I'll have to shut my baby bloggy down. Enough for today.

Toodles! :)

I LOST! :(

I lost the debate! And I felt really bad. I went there on the stage, I was pretty close to forgetting my lines at some point, I skipped one whole most important paragraph of my debate and the asshole from my class kept laughing, distracting me! But you know what?? Sitting here in my room, 8:00 at night, I say, I don't freakin' care. So what, that I lost, at least I tried. Why should I even care that I messed up or that asshole was laughing at me! That asshole has nothing better to do, 'cos if he would have he won't be wasting his time laughing at me!

So no wonder I was really disappointed initially when I heard that I had lost. I have been debating for four years in a row and i have never won anything. Maybe I should get used to losing now. Maybe debate ain't my thing. I just do it! So my contorted itself into a crybaby form, and I seemed pretty sad! But bless those really really really nice friends that I have that made everything bearable. I thank whole heartedly, the nicest high school friends one could ask for: 'Gothic inside' guy, Mr. Arsi and his twin sista Ms. Amsi!

So the 'Gothic inside' guy kept trying to cheer me up, like a friend, a good friend. I am happy that no stupid relationship junk interferes. Sometimes it is nice to have it 'just friends' way! :)

So anyways, tomorrow the lunch is on me and 'Gothic inside' guy, for two reasons. He got his prefect post back (which was taken from him) and I represented my whole class in the speech! So we will be giving everyone a 'treat', that is what we call it here! :)

Anyways, I am glad that I am over my disappointment, thanks to a lot of people. My cousin came over after such a long time and we had crazy time together. Tomorrow is Friday, I am happy that the week is coming to an end! I do need a break from high school crapology, as MelRoxx puts it!

I leave you with this song, which has been my favorite since 8th garde. I love the music video! Just tooo cute. So here goes, Lionell Richie -I call it love!

The debate is tomorrow, fingers crossed!

Okay, so I should be practicing right now. I have a debate competition tomorrow and I am so hoping that I win. I have practiced and people say that I am doing good but all that matters is that impression I put the judges under. I hope I do good! :) -fingers crossed-

So high school, has been pretty complicated and pain-in-the-butt kind these days. There is this guy in my class, who has a a humongous crush on one of my good friends, and he thinks that I am the one stopping her from getting into a relationship with him! And he LOATHES me for that!! That guy is one of those assholes I have written about in my previous posts as well! I mean, what gives him the idea that I would ever butt into someone else's life and stop them from getting into a relationship. I mind my own business and my friend doesn't even like him back. And now that guy is totally after me. He looks at me as he is out to get me, to chew me alive!! My friend hates him as well, but he is under such a stupid random expression that she likes her... GOSH!

So anyway, I had a really nice girl-to-girl talk with a van-mate of mine today. She is such a nice person and awfully cute. A lot of guys in college would like to go out with her, 'cos a lot of guys like her! She is really pretty and cute, it felt nice talking to her!

The 'Gothic inside' guy, seems like a real ladys' man. Girls in my van, they like hanging around with him a lot. He seems pretty popular amongst them! I kinda like him too you know, he is a really nice guy. 'Gothic inside'; no wonder!! :P

I also interviewed for the post of support co-editor for the school magazine. I hope I make it! My interview went pretty well. I have loads to catch up on in my studies. I missed the Mathematics class and the Physics class to practice for debate today. I still have to study for my mid-terms! Gosh, I think I should stop writing now, I soo need to practice! I hope I win! :)

I had fun!! -all laughs-

I had a really nice time at school today. I laughed like hell and it was just really fun. I felt pretty light, like I didn't even give a crap about any of those assholes anymore. I just felt like this: ~~I am what I am, I can't help myself and if you don't like it get with somebody else~~ (as sung by the Jonas Brothers)! I seriously gotta hand it to those who leave such nice comments. No wonder for them they are just words but for me they are like lubricants which help me slip through the roughest of situations. Love you guys!!

Wondering what made my day all fun-ey today? Well to begin with I hung out with some of the nicer people in my grade today in the lunch time and they made me laugh till I had tears in my eyes!! I went totally crazy, laughing and jumping and throwing stuff at each other! Gosh it was sooo much fun and to top it all the 'Gothic inside' guy was pretending to be a gay and it was AWFULLY funny! I seriously laughed till I cried, though it was a bit unethical :/. But sometimes, it is nice to have a laugh for the sake of it. My day was LOL!

Anyway, my laptop got fixed and now I can blog with ease. I am thinking of designing an award just for lovely commenters!! ;) Hope you all have a nice week! :)

It's always the same guy girl thing!! :/

So I got in the English literary society!! YAY ME!! :) I am really happy. The 'Gothic inside' guy didn't make it though. I think it was a little awkward, you know, me getting in; he is really good at English too, maybe better than me and he should have gotten in. Oh well, I hope he gets something else, equally good or maybe better.

Finally I have something to look forward to in college other than the antics of those freakin' assholes in my class. Okay, so maybe this is the point where my readers might notice a difference. My blog readers might be surprised at how much I have been abusing lately. But trust me, I have a valid reason for that. I am sick and tired of people in my grade, they seem soooo irritating and stupid. Writing it all here on my blog makes me feel better whenever I look at them making fun of me or quietly passing a comment about me. It keeps me calm through those situation, helps me not getting into a fight with them. My heart dances a little funky dance whenever I they do something bad to me, 'cos those freaks don't know that a bunch of people in far off countries know them as assholes. The thought never lets me down!! In fact it makes me stronger and more confident through the day, I don't give a damn about what they do or say, I have an online journal and people who care!! (Even though my readers are really small in number!!) 

But, what if I am mistaken about them. What if I just think that they are commenting on me when they don't even care??? Well if it is so, though I know it's not, than I will apologize to them on my blog. For now I am sure it ain't so!

So anyway, there is this guy in my class, Mr.T, who has a girlfriend. I really don't know if he is serious with her or not but he is a big flirt and a pervert and a...okay, that is a different story. So he is a big flirt and he flirts with this really nice girl in my grade. It is so annoying, I mean he eyes her in such a weird way, and no wonder the girl really likes his attention and likes it when he sits partners with her. BUT IT IS STILL SO FREAKIN' SICK! I just keep telling myself that I can't take control of everything now; can I?

I also really really hate it when guys and girls go all physical with each other for no good  reason. I mean why would you want to touch some guy's hand or let that guy touch you or ruffle that guy's hair and stuff like that, if you are 'just friends' with that guy. Gosh, it seems so gross!!! :/ If this is how the friend business works, I sooo don't want to stick around for the relationship business. I have guy friends too, but we never go physical, I always keep my distance. That is how people from a respectable Pakistani society should act. Only if we valued our culture and the boundaries it has set for us. Only if... but who cares anymore???

I guessI have babbled enough for today. Please add me on Facebook. :)

Toodles :)

Juniour year! Again!!

So I haven't posted about my crazy twisty weird junior year since I don't know when. I don't get enough time to write on, although there is sooo much going on!

To begin with, the 'Gothic inside' guy found out about my blog and that is the reason I had to shut my blog for a while. Then I had to make him promise not to access it and then make the blog accessible again. Now he has been asking me since then to let him read the blog. And all I can muster as an answer is 'no'. When he asks why, I say it's not just meant for people who belong to the place I babble all the time about. What else can I say "Oh no, I can't let you read it 'cos it is filled with crap regarding you and a lot of other people from junior year. Stuff that people are not supposed to know even exists in my mind." Yeah right! This online diary is SOOO not meant for people about whom it is written! It is filled with crap.

By the way, I think I should find another name for the 'Gothic inside' guy. He really ain't that Gothic although he is a little freaky. Okay not just a little, maybe a wee bit more than that. He does a really weird thing with his eyebrows, moving them frantically up and down; makes him look like a freak! And then he can contort his tongue in a really eerie way, that makes him look like a freak as well. Other than that he isn't that bad a guy, in fact he is a good friend now. So we'll just call him...ummm...okay why don't you people select a name. You have been reading about him for a long time. For now I'll just stick with 'Gothic inside' guy! 

Okay, so there are some guys in  my grade, who can get killed anytime this week! You wanna know why?? Simply because I HATE them so darn much, that I won't mind killing them. I mean what is their problem?? I don't talk to them, don't mingle up with them, never did anything bad to them..WHY THE HECK ARE THEY AFTER ME??? Freakin' assholes (sorry for that, but I am really pissed off!) One of them keeps pointing and laughing at me and mimes whatever I say!! And the other one, he is just bothered about every freakin' thing that I do! I hate even looking at their faces. They even seem like perverts to me! ASSHOLES!!

But I rather not fight anyone! So I just hide my menacing emotions for those abominable hideous dorks and move on as if I don't notice anything.

High School is soooo complicated!!!

Anyway, I created a Facebook badge, please add me. Talking of Facebook I think I have just had too much! I am turning into an addict. I keep playing Farmville all the time or socializing with people or taking stupid applications. I just can't stop, just can't freakin' stop. (Okay, is the word freakin' starting to sound a little weird to you!!) 

I interviewed for the English literary society today, I hope I get in. My interview went really good. The 'Gothic inside' guy auditioned with me as well. His interview went pretty good as well. Let's see what happens!

After this I'll visit some of my favorite blogs. I am thinking of giving my blog a makeover, please tell me what do you think of the idea, should I give it a make over or should I let it be. I have to study loads but I sooo don't feel like it. Please add me on Facebook! :)

Toodles!

My granddad, may God bless his soul

Okay so It has been two weeks since or maybe more than that since I last wrote a blog post! In fact I had to shut down my blog for a while, the reason for that: the 'gothic inside' guy from my grade found out about my blog and I sooo didn't want him to know about all the freaky bad stuff I have written about on this blog of mine so I had to shut down the blog for a while! But I really couldn't keep myself away so I sorted stuff out with him and made him promise that he won't visit it and here I am blogging again!

But while I was away, something saddening happened, just a day before my birthday! Something like a black hole, a dark whirlpool which just swooshed away the happiness in me making me feel miserable! My granddad passed away on the morning of 4th October 2009.

There are somethings in your life of which you grow so accustomed that you only realize their importance when they go missing. That is how I feel about my granddad's love, maybe I was so accustomed of having him around, of moving around in the air filled with his love and concern that I never realized that someday I'll have to deal with his absence. That someday the air would be empty that some day things would change and never ever be the same. I never thought that 4th October 2009 a day before my 16th birthday, would be that 'someday'!

My granddad was a great unique man, his style was different. The way he did things, it was like no other. I never realized how much he actually loved until I thought over each and every memory I hold in my mind, while sitting in a corner at his funeral. He wanted me to be a journalist or an analyst. He really did care and all those times when I used to get pissed off by him, I forgot how much he actually loved me!

It is weird how this world works! How you don't realize anything unless its absent, how the black holes can drown you in with them. How one human life can leave an impact on a hundred others.

All I remember doing in the two days that followed his death is crying, remaining silent, crying, remaining silent. Everything I did was a reminiscence of the time he was around. I missed college the next day, I didn't have enough courage to actually make myself go.

The day after I attended college. I left my house with a heavy heart, kept trying to suppress my tears, but that lump in my throat just won't disappear. I kept swallowing in the attempt that it'll pass but it didn't. Finally when I got off my vann and entered the college I let go and broke into tears. The 'gothic inside' guy said some words which my blank mind failed to understand. But he kept uttering and stuff finally started making sense. He was successful in cheering me up. People were really nice to me the whole day, made me feel better and for the first time every I was happy being stuck here in this high school, with these people!!

Well I am finally back to blogging. My mom is shouting wants me to close the computer down. I have loads of homework and have to take a bath as well. For all those reading this post, Welcome back to the Diary of an All-Pakistani girl!

Nothing much!

So the weekend is here again! Life has been pretty ordinary! We are finally into the last week of Ramazan and will soon be celebrating Eid!

Now Eid is a festivle we celebrate once are 30 day fasting is over! Eid is a festivle as gift of God for all those Muslims who fast and spent their Ramazan month is praying to God. So anyways as Eid is a major muslim festivle, we prepare for it in full swing! We buy new clothes, decorate our homes and meet each other! Fabuluos feasts are enjoyed and everything is totally fun! But the best part of Eid is that the adults give the younger ones money, it is a religious practice. The money given is known as Eidi and the kids looove it! :) There is no specific age for Eidi, it is given to people younger than you! My grandpa gives my mom and dad eidi, my dad gives it to me and it goes on! And 'cos of all these reason I LOOOOVE EID!

So tonight I'll be going for Eid shopping with my cousin, uncle and aunt! It is our annual eid shopping trip! Every year all of us go for Eid shopping and have hell of fun! This year my camera will be tagging along too and I'll put all the pictures on my blog! :) So this is how our trip goes, first we go to a really good local resteraunt well-known for its rolls! Then we go to the mall and shop around! Over all it's really fun!

I am sooo looking forward to my shopping trip!

My high school is going pretty fine, nothing new! I am sooo behind my homework that now I give up! What is the use of doing it anyways?? I made friends with another guiy in my class who is a total nerdy! So let's just call him Mr. Nerdy Pants! He is a really nice simple guy, helps around a lot and stands those really stupid jokes that Ayesha and crack every now and then!

The rest is fine, I hope you people have a fabulous weekend! :)

Another blog award! Maybe I am as good as they say I am!

6 September 2009

So my blogger friend Mel, just gave me another blogger award! WOW! When I first started blogging I never knew I was ever gonna get 4 awards within three months...Its simply amazimg and for that I would like to thank all those who stop by my blog and take time to read my overly-thought musings!!

Now this award is called the splash award and is given to blogs which are succesful in alluring, amusing, bewitching, impressive, and inspiring the readers! I never thought that all these wonderful adjectives would ever be used for my blog all at once but my friend Mel has made that possible! I am sooo glad that I found her!

So the rules for this award are pretty simple, all we have to do is:

-Put the logo on your blog/post.

-Nominate up to 9 blogs which allure, amuse, bewitch, impress or inspire you.

-Let them know that they have been splashed by commenting on their blog.

-Remember to link to the person from whom you received your Splash Award.

So I would like to splash:

-Belle from UK

-Tania at larger family life

-Clare at The lilac grove

-Nadia at Bakefresh

-Mama Mel at Mama Mel loves

-Jannete at Jannete's projects!

-Summer at le Musings of moi

-Mary at the Design Gal

-Shelly at That girl blogs

Apart from this I had one of the best Saturdays ever yesterday!! It could not have been better! Ayesha and Farwa were over at my place for a combined study session, but studying was not the only thing we did, if that isn't already obvious considering that there was three of us, we are 16 and we go to a high school full of drama! Soo we talked like heel! Discussed each and everything that was bothering us! From the stuoid Mr.T in our class to the girls in my class and (Duh) the very popular 'gothic inside' guy! Farwa believes that he isn't gothic or anything he just wants to 'be different from the norm'! And to prove that he goes an extra mile! Other than that he is like all the other stupid mindless guys in our class! He runs after popularity and really likes girls going all around him like bees over honey! HUH, why didn't I think of that? But Farwa does agree with this with Ayesha and me: 'The guy is messed up in the head'!

We also discussed why the heck Mr.T behaved like that with me (read older post). Conclusion: 'Mr.T doesn't like the fact that we; Ayesha, Farwa and me talk to lot of guys in the class except for him! Which means he is kinda desperate to talk to us! But sorry to say Mr.T none of us likes you!

We also checked out pictures of some of the guys in our class and laughed on them like hell! Now I know this is a bad thing to do, but we can have a little fun can't we? I am glad that people from my grade don't know about my blog or I would be dead right now!

I have to go..help out mom with the food for the guests! Toodles!

Gothism..Emoism...Disturbia!

1 September 2009

So I was talking to this person that day at school and we were discussing really random things when 'the person' mentioned that he was fascinated by blood! I mean from which world is he from, who is fascinated by blood!
And then he started making gestures of tasting blood and everything! From the inside I was totally freaking out 'cos who likes blood man! Blood, flesh ...eeewww! Later that day I checked out his blog and oooh boy, what did I discover? 'The person' is totally gothic inside! How did I come to that decision, let's see:

1. He is into literature that involves blood.

2. His blog was all black.

3. His posts were super wierd...SUPER WIERD! Ones which involved blood and fire and flesh and and.....

4. He thinks blood is sweet.. *totally freaking out inside*

5. He is totally into punk, soft rock music

And that is it! I didn't even have the gut to check out more than 5 of his posts and I was out! I mean all this darkness sooo totally agitates me! I mean why would anyone choose to live this way? To get into such wierd thoughts and ideas! If we already have been given a really nice distangled lovelyt life, why penetrate to the darker side!

I have always hated night time, though it is not like I m scared of the dark! I am just scared of the darker side, which turns people into freaks! Makes them think about demise and blood and flesh and and...

I would conclude by writing that all this Gothic, emo, disturbia stuff; why does it exist?? Why do people like this! I believe this implies disturbed state of mind or maybe the search of something different, something new, something that puts them apart from all the others!

Whatever it is..For me it is a total-messed-up-in-the-head state!

Just look at this!!! DIS-TUR-BING! And yeah people this was the most sane picture I found when I searched for Gothic pictures!! Others... I feel like puking!!!

The 'guy' talk!!!

25 August 2009

Okay so I have been talking about a lot of stuff; food, culture, junior year but hello what's the big whoop?? What about the 'guy' talk!?! Being a teenager is a lot about that isn't it???

So when it comes to guys, I am really choosy!! I just don't like any guy!! I have specifications!! But let me just make it clear that here in Pakistan, girls are not allowed to go out. Our ethical codes don't allow us to do that, we can be friends and everything but we don't go out with guys, as in dating and stuff!!

But that doesn't mean that this Pakistani girl can't like anyone, does it? So let's just jump back to the main thing again! Whenever my cousin and I have a girl talk about guys, whe gets sooo agied 'cos I am sooo chotatosy and don't seem to like anyone!!!!

Well, this goes out to her! Here are the qualities that a guy should possess, if he wants to make my likey list!

1. He should look super hot and manly in shalwar kamiz, the national dress of Pakistan.

(This is a fancy shalwar kamiz, worn in weddings! It is known as Sherwani. Sorry couldn't find a better picture)

2. He should have really superb English accent, and must have good writing skill! Explanation: In Pakistan, English is a second language so here not everybody is good at English. But I expect 'the guy' to be really good at it. I know I am good (no showing-off intended) and he should be too.

3. He should be above average in studies, and must be ambitous.

4. He should not be over expressive, over romantic or melodramatic! I hate guys who just keep expressing their feelings, and say lines from movies 'cos they think it's hot! They should be expressive but in a very cute indirect way!! (now you get why my cousin gets agitated!)

5. He should totally respect girls!! Respect is a major thing, no compromise on that!

6. He should have a really fantastic sense of style! He should look good in everything that he wears! A fantastic taste in clothes is really important!

7. He should not smoke, drink or do drugs at all!

8. He should be into books, music and art! (Okay so art is not important, I just wrote it 'cos it goes with the flow...books, music and art!!!)

9. He should be really good in sports and if that sport is tennis, basketball or football, then I'll be all gaga!!

10. He should be as much of a patriot as I am and should have a good vision about politics and current affairs!

11. He should have a really nice and clean sense of humour; with no knack for obscene humour.

12. He should be no where near Edward!! Edward Cullen suffocates me!! How can someone have absolutely nothing in there life except for their love!! Makes me sick! 'The guy' should have a life of his own; his own interests, likes and dislikes! I WANT SOME ONE REAL (I am really practical)

13. I don't want him to be super handsome or super cute, like someone in movies! But he should be likably cute! Cuteness does count! :P

For now these are the things which make me attracted towards guys! With time they might change or more might be added to the list!

Please do share your specifications, if you are choosy or not!

P.S: My junior year is on the right track now, I have sooo much homework to do and here I am wasting my time blogging! But then again, I believe if something makes you happy, it can never be a time waster!

Some better days, came my way!

22 August 2009

Okay so the last time I wrote I was feeling really glum!!! And I was hating junior year, a lot of people in junior year and all my teachers!!!

But today sitting here in front of my mom's PC (my laptop was attacked by virues last night, nothing is left in it! *another story*) enjoying a beautiful Saturday morning, looking back at my last two days, I'll have to say that junior year has finally started to work for me!!

Let's start with Thursday! I was actually sick and tired of my junior year 'cos nothing seemed to be working; so before getting ready for my college, I prayed to God in my morning namaz (muslim prayer), for a good day, in fact 'pleaded for a good day' is a better way to put it!!! I was sick of bad days, sick of feeling low all the time!!

God listened to me and gave me that!!! And I am soo thankful to Him for giving me something I call a good day, a sign that junior year is not that bad after all! Every morning I reach school early and as I have no one to talk to I read a book till the bell rings!! I love Karachi mornings and the weather here is perfect these days! Very light rain and and no sun!! Really pleasant! Here in Karachi, this happens rarely!!

So I got off my van and headed for a bench in the caffeteria, my usual routine! Ready to face the monotony of the day as it unfurls!! But hey, what do we have here??? A guy, say Mr. S, who goes in my van and is also in my class came my way and was all like: "Do you know how complex numbers work?" (Now if you read my previous post you'll know that guys and girls in my grade don't mingle much! So this was the first guy I was talking too in three weeks!)

And I was all like: "Ahan!" We had a Math test that day!

So then he was like: "Could you explain them to me??"

And I was like sure!

So we sat down and I explained him the whole thing! And I did a good job! I am not that bad in maths you know!! Secondly I was kinda happy that I have finally broken the ice with someone 'cos as I mentioned previously, I didn't like a lot of people in my class and I thought I would never fit in!! And yeah I am sooo awfully thankful to all the people who left advices on my last post!! It really helped!! :)

So when the bell rang we made our way to our class, discussing studies!! 'Cos I don't like going all random when I talk to someone for the first time! I stick with one thing, I am sure both of us can talk about freely! Apparently he was of the same idea!

Then came the second ice breaker! I sat besides this guy, who is a real cell phone addict and I had heard some really stupid things about him, let's call him Mr.M! So I didn't like him! A wrong presumption! Then we eventually started talking and it turned out he wasn't that bad!! :)

Then came Friday! I didn't know what to expect!!! I got off my van and made my way to a bench in caffeteria (as usual) when Mr.S came to me and asked me about some class project!! I think that was just an excuse! :P Then we talked about music and he made fun of me when I stated that I am a major Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brother fan!! I mean I don't understand why people don't like the Jonas Brothers! They absolutely rock! And Shelly on 'that girl blogs' agrees with me!

Mr. S was actualluy all like "Who like the Jonas Brothers??? Nobody does!!"

And I was all like: "So not!! A lot of people like em!!!"

AHAN!! I LOOOOOVE 'EM

*MAJOR FAN!!!*

Then I sat next to Mr. M in the class again and the whole day rolled out very nicely if I ignore the awful tummy ache which at one point almost made me cry!

After my high school was over, I visited my maternal side of the family and spent half of my time there dozing off!!! When I came back home at night I had big plans for the internet but walla: My laptop bailed on me!! And I had to sleep!

And finally I return to my lovely Saturday morning, sitting near a huge window in my mom's room! I have loads of homework waiting for me and I have to study for my Physics test too!! But before I do that I'll just visit some blogs and see what's going on in the blogger world!!! I have loads of comments to return!! And I hate when I don't get time return comments!!

Have a nice weakend y'all!

Khuda Hafiz (it means may God protect you)

P.S: I have Mr. M's and Mr.S's requests waiting on FB! My mom says I should give it a little time I agree!! Feel free to comment, and share any of your juniour year experience!! :)