I feel like crying!

I missed the annual examination board ceremony in which I was to receive an award! I feel like killing my self, I feel like crying and I totally hate myself. Who misses board ceremonies?? They are such MAJOR events, maybe dumbos like me. I wish I could bush the rewind button and go back and receive the award!! I suck!! :(

I can mark this moment as one of the biggest moment of REGRET in my life! I feel like wailing and weeping and crying out loud. But what is done is done, and it won't ever come back. I missed one of the biggest events in my life and it won't ever come back.

I'll sit here write down my sorrows, cry in front of my mommy and daddy and then one day I'll look back at it and say 'Darn, I wish I was there!'

Maybe everything happens for a reason and maybe God had a reason behind it, things I might never know. I'll just humanly keep blaming myself and crying!! :(