I have been pretty busy lately preparing for my Mid-terms. I am trying to put most of my time in studies. Pretty unsuccessful though, I don't think I am still putting in 100%. It is not even 50%, dang! The thing is I am addicted to my blog and all those who leave their comments on my posts. Yesterday while practicing trigonometry, a thought about Amy randomly made it's way in my mind and then I started thinking about Mel and Galikae and Ayak. I wondered what was happening around in their lives. Therefore I promised that I'll update my blog tomorrow and visit everyone else's. So here I am.
Now let's begin with what has been up in my life. Well to begin with, I am starting to lose faith in myself. I am clinging hard to that little string that says: 'It's alright!'. I want to do so much. But my determination doesn't seem to have the magnetic quality of attracting opportunities. The right opportunity doesn't fall in my lap at the right time. I did the debate, I screwed up! I didn't get the editor thing for the school magazine. I got into the English literary society, but nothing ever happens over there. I have lost faith in my writing skills, my public speaking skills. I don't even think, I write that good, anymore. There are so many talented people around me, they use such big words. I never get a big word when I want to. My writings are so stupid and simple. My debate sucked, I know. That is why I lost. I don't even know what people think of me!! :(
I want to do so much. I want to change the world someday, I aspire to do a lot. I have big aims for tomorrow. But I am soo weak at heart. I lose hope quickly, I have faced many failures in life and no wonder they have made me strong. I wait restlessly for my moment, which I call as my moment. I know I suck at writing, I am not even talented or creative!!! Where do I stand?? Which quality do I possess? I seriously have no clue!!
So I cling to my faith in God and hope that He'll help me retrieve my faith in myself. I shed a tear or two sometimes, but I pray that things will get better. And I try my best to believe that they will, 'cos after all I have faith in God. And that helps.
I am finally down to my 50th-post. I have a surprise for my blog readers. I am busy these days and don't get time to return comments. I just want to tell y'all that you are the nicest blog readers ever and your comments; they always help! Love ya.
Here is a hit new Pakistani song I am addicted to..enjoy! IT IS H.O.T!! :P
