The past week, I was really busy. I had the science project thing going on. I had two projects on my plate. And trust me, science projects are no joke at all. I had to work my ass off to get them right . I was up the whole night, the day before yesterday to work on my management sciences project. I got no sleep at all last week. So yesterday, when I came home I went to bed at five in the evening and woke up at nine in the morning. Thats like almost 16 hors of sleep. WOAH!! And during that period, I had like 6-7 dreams and they crossed my mind at different times through the day. Well, if it isn't already obvious, I am one heck of a dreamer, literally!
Anyway, I mentioned that I was running for the elections, in my previous posts. Well, I feel really bad to write that I wasn't selected. The committee threw me out of the whole election scene, although I spoke my heart out in the interview. I just failed to understand where did I go wrong. I gave in a 100% in my interview. I just really wanted it to work.
You know, things have been going really really wrong for me. I have turned into a loser, a social reject in high school. Everything I try out for, I don't get it. Even the people in the English literary society don't consider me as a member. They don't include me in anything.
So, when I came home yesterday, I cried my heart out in front of my mom. I was so disappointed in myself. It's as if all the popular people rule. It's just them and no one else. I really don't know why I didn't get to run in the elections. I gave in such an intellectual-kinda interview. Maybe, my tears aren't worth it. But it still felt awful bad.
Anyway, I feel much better now, I prayed to Allah, and I know that he is the Master. He has planned things for me and I don't need to cry over His decisions. No wonder, His decisions hold importance over all mine. May my decisions always be overshadowed by His. Ameen. Today, while praying I understood this. Now, I don't feel that bad.
Today, the schools are off, due to a public holiday. And the best part is I still have two days to look forward to. I need sometime at home, to get away from all the drama; some time with my family.
I really really miss my cousin today. It's been long since we last met and I desperately need that one-to-one time with her, when we go all crazy and stuff. I seriously miss that. I hope she visits soon.
Well, that's all that I wanted to say. I don't know when I'll be blogging next, I hope it's sometime soon. :)
I hope so too... .. .
ReplyDeleteso you been through in really hard times... and good thing is that you are still optimistic. did i say good ... no no no its best thing :-)
ReplyDeletewell best of luck for up coming future and Keep faith on Allah. definitely you will shine out brightly during your high school soon.
Oh Kaibee..I'm sorry to hear that things haven't been so good for you recently. Don't give up hope. There is a purpose to your life..you just haven't discovered it yet..but when you do you will excel at it.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't give up on your blog..just post whenever you have time.
Much Love
Linda xx
It's hard to learn that you are not always judged on your abilities....society tells us that we are, so we feel like failures when we are rejected.
ReplyDeleteNothing to do with how good you are at all, but an unpleasant social phenomenon known as keeping bright outsiders away from the good things in life.
Remember, exclusion of competition is the only way these people survive.
You'll get to the top, you're good.
Oh how sad! I am so sorry you are feeling this way! But you are in high school, and sadddly, a lot of people that age just don't have their heads screwed on right. Learning to not let other people effect you is a hard thing to do. I agree with the fly in the web's comment, that you are not always judged for your abilities. I hope things look up for you very soon, and in the meantime, know you have lots of friends who simply adore you all over the world! Like me. :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with it all, and don't worry about not having time to blog, school is more important in life right now, and we will be here when you have time.
P.S. I have an award for you.
ReplyDelete