Making things work...

The last time I made a post I was feeling awfully glum and gloomy. I felt confused, defeated and lost. Things in school can be really harsh at times and you just stand there and stare as things take over you. People make journeys from zeros to heroes, from nobodies to somebodies, while you are just invisible. A nobody. A mere shadow, nothing else.

Well, to my joy, I have taken control over such feelings. I have shut them up in the less-cared-of corner of my mind. So what, if I am a nobody in high school. So what, if the hot guys don't notice me. So what, if all the popular and pretty girls underestimate me. So what, if I am a pathetic loser?

I took some time and sorted out a lot of stuff. I thought over stuff, I learned to accept some harsh realities. Life really isn't as complicated as we make it. Allah has gifted us with a life which can be as simple and uncomplicated as anything, but we choose to make it difficult and incomprehensible. We choose to tie knots and cry over them. (Seriously I do that a lot!)

The problem is that I can't help it. I am this really over sensitive person, who thinks a lot. A LOT. Things are so over thought inside my head that it gets absolutely impossible to digest them the way they are. I turn a small knot into this one big knot.

So, anyway, with a huge help from my mom, my dad, my cousin Ash, my friends at school -I just love them- my blog readers: Galikea, Amy, 'fly in the web', and Ayak , I am finally almost over the sad stuff; for now. I never know when events might force me into transferring the sad thoughts back into obsessed part of my mind. But for now, I am as happy as birds in spring. I am chirpy! :)

So in the past few days, I figured some really important things, which got me back up again.

Here they are:

1, Those who believe in themselves the least, have the most to offer. -Kyle, from Kyle XY said this, and it just got me!-

2, Life is an occasion, rise to it. -from some movie-

3, Life is a monotony, unless you have lived as a loser once. That is what, being an All-Pakistani girls is all about. She goes through everything. And losing is a part of it. So I am happy that Allah has given me this chance to lose, so I rejoice to a greater extent when victory comes my way again. -I figured this out on my own-

4, People who matter, love me, unconditionally.

5, Allah has given me more than I can ask for.

6, I have been a great achiever in my past. I have been the editor of the school magazine. A paid writer in a newspaper. A position-holder in examinations. So what, if others take me as a loser, I have been bestowed with wonderful things to be proud of.

7, I have my life in front of me. Many opportunities and people, who'll always support me through thick and thin.

8, In this world, people are going through worse situations than I go through. Hunger and poverty. I think, it's selfish for me to grieve over my little, meaningless sorrows and ignore what others go through.

After all this, I don't think it's fair to remain glum and gloomy. Being happy is vital, I have big aims and big goals. If I go weak, I might not be able to make the journeys that lie ahead. So with many knots untied, I continue with my life, happy, satisfied and gratified. After all, this life is too short to cry over stuff, all the time!

Thanks for visiting my blog, even though I don't gt time to return your comments. I am awfully sorry about that.

When things just don't work..

It's been a long time since I last blogged. High school just keeps me so busy I hardly get time. And usually when my high school routine spares me some time, I am so tired that I just fling myself on the bed and snooze off.

The past week, I was really busy. I had the science project thing going on. I had two projects on my plate. And trust me, science projects are no joke at all. I had to work my ass off to get them right . I was up the whole night, the day before yesterday to work on my management sciences project. I got no sleep at all last week. So yesterday, when I came home I went to bed at five in the evening and woke up at nine in the morning. Thats like almost 16 hors of sleep. WOAH!! And during that period, I had like 6-7 dreams and they crossed my mind at different times through the day. Well, if it isn't already obvious, I am one heck of a dreamer, literally!

Anyway, I mentioned that I was running for the elections, in my previous posts. Well, I feel really bad to write that I wasn't selected. The committee threw me out of the whole election scene, although I spoke my heart out in the interview. I just failed to understand where did I go wrong. I gave in a 100% in my interview. I just really wanted it to work.

You know, things have been going really really wrong for me. I have turned into a loser, a social reject in high school. Everything I try out for, I don't get it. Even the people in the English literary society don't consider me as a member. They don't include me in anything.

So, when I came home yesterday, I cried my heart out in front of my mom. I was so disappointed in myself. It's as if all the popular people rule. It's just them and no one else. I really don't know why I didn't get to run in the elections. I gave in such an intellectual-kinda interview. Maybe, my tears aren't worth it. But it still felt awful bad.

Anyway, I feel much better now, I prayed to Allah, and I know that he is the Master. He has planned things for me and I don't need to cry over His decisions. No wonder, His decisions hold importance over all mine. May my decisions always be overshadowed by His. Ameen. Today, while praying I understood this. Now, I don't feel that bad.

Today, the schools are off, due to a public holiday. And the best part is I still have two days to look forward to. I need sometime at home, to get away from all the drama; some time with my family.

I really really miss my cousin today. It's been long since we last met and I desperately need that one-to-one time with her, when we go all crazy and stuff. I seriously miss that. I hope she visits soon.

Well, that's all that I wanted to say. I don't know when I'll be blogging next, I hope it's sometime soon. :)