Feeling glum!!! :(

17 August 2009

Okay, so it is my third week in junior year, and it is not even a teensie weensie bit close to what I expected it to be!!!! I did write in a little about my junior year but here is an explicit describtion of how much junior year actually sucks at this moment!!!!

Let's start with some really general things:

- I go to a co-education college, but the strangest part is that girls in my class don't talk to guys and guys don't talk to girls!!! I mean hello???? What's the point of choosing a co-college when you are sooooo damn shy of talking to guys (goes for girls)!!!! Downright loosers! And I soooo totally am stuck with all such girls that I just couldn't make myself do it either!!! SHIT!! I mean it's good that the girls take notice of the ethical codes we have here, but what's the point in being shy!! UGHHHH!!! MAKES ME SOOOO MAD!

-I don't like a lot of people in my college, I mean this guy today was wearing his pant down so low that his boxers were visible, and it looked soooo gross!!! eeeeewww And my friend and I couldn't help making pukey faces!!! And there is this other guy who seems as if he is drunk on a permanent basis! He even drinks water as if he is taking a swig from a bottle of beer! He laughs, funny and drunk!!! Pathetic!! And let's not forget this another guy who has a really high pitched voice and he is a a text messaging addict! And I don't like such people at all, I mean hello why is is important to inform a thousand others through text even when you breath!!!! With him this seems like a case! The bigger picture I don't like a lot of people in my class!

-A lot of time I get this feeling that people in my class don't get me at all!!! I just don't even have a damn idea of what they think of me or how they really are!!! It takes me such a looooong time to judge how people really are! And I don't like being judgmental or anything but what can I do, I just don't know what to think about them!!! I am sooo stressed!!! :( I really miss my school friend Sarwat, who was sooo good in judging people without being judgmental, and she was always right!! And now I am stuck here without her!!!!

-I don't like any...lemme say it again... ANY.... teacher who teaches me!! I almost passed out in the maths class today, I was sooo dang sleepy and then my friend and I started laughing on really stupid things!!! I mean I was sooo sleepy that I was going bananas, and the same was with my friend!!! So actually I don't like my maths teacher! Secondly, I find it really hard to understand what my english teacher babbles about in the whole period, 'cos I just don't have the super powers to understand a word he says! Thirdly, I hate the jokes that my Physics teacher cracks!! I mean, they are really sarcastic and usually they end up in a sarcastic almost fights between these two students ( they are the only ones who can answer the teacher like that, I mean, I don't think they are familiar with the word respect!) The bigger picture: I don't like my teachers!

-Every morning, I have to fight with the strong urge of staying at home and not going to high school, which seems to have a really huge place to store a lot of things I can not make myself like!!! I hope thing get better! Though there are a few shiny corners; a really nice person, Sakina in my van but I just sit in the van for 15 minutes! There are two really funny guys in my class, but then again, nobody talks!! UGHHH! Even the shiny corners seem blotted!!! *cries*.....*heavy heart*

Anyways let me leave you with some treats I have had in previous days!! Thanks for reading through and sharing my pain and agony!!

Well here they are:

This is called a 'Ras Malai' It is a sweet dish with these soft white things (I don't know what we call them) socked in sweet milk with nut!! LOOOOVE IT!

OMG! I feel like having it right now!

On the left we have 'Samoosas', filled with minced meat, the triangular things! On the right we have 'Jalaybian', fried rings made of flour socked in sugar water!!! SWEET AND STICKY!!!

The massive 180-degree turn!

3rd August 2009


"Get up Khulud, it's 6:45, c'mon get up!!"

I peeped through the slits of my eyes! First day already!!! AAAWWW!!! A huge part of me wanted to push the rewind button and jump back to the day when my mind was at the absolute peace at the thought that "Oh yeah, I have Two whole months left!!"

Well, the days passed just like a fly buzzing past my eyes, and here I am getting ready for the first day of my college (thats what we call, junior year and senior year places)!!!! Uhhh!!

Well, I have to get up anyways, no use wishing for something that science has not even accessed yet! (and I believe it never might!! *talking about time traveling if you haven't guessed it yet!*)

I produced this force from within which made me jerk out of the bed and to get ready for my first day in junior year, in Pakistan we call it first year in college. I wore a really pretty dress, and no wonder I looked lovely!! :)

My dad dropped me to the college which was crowded with people from different schools, I checked my name on the list and then made my way to the class. I grabbed a seat trying my level best not to make a fool out of myself! But apparently I had noooo idea!

So the teachers introduced themselves; everything was going pretty smoothly, even though I was pretty agitated with the girl next to me; but thing were smooth! Until....the teacher started calling out the names for attendance..One name, one more, half of the class, the whole class, paper folded...

Where is my name???

I was send down to the admin. office to get my name checked in the list again! Turned out I was sitting in the wrong class! Talk about making a fool! But I was too much in a good mood to be bothered about whatever had happened, so I just made my way to my new class and took the only seat which was empty!

I was delighted to know that there were people I knew, from my old school in this class. Soon afterward we were called for the proper Welcome ceremony, which consisted of an absolutely never-ending speech from the principal. The speech did highlight a lot of good points of the college, but either ways, it was hot and humid and UNBEARABLE!

Once the ceremony was done with we had our recess and after that was the time which gave birth to the shadow, which contorted my face into a disgusting expression and made me rate the day as "absolutely SUCKED!"

So when I got back to my class, I had a good look around at the people I was meant to study with for the rest of the year. And do you wanna know what I discovered...THAT THEY ARE JUST NOT MY TYPE!!! Not the kind of people I am used to having around. This sooo totally agitated me, and I just lost the optimistic year around me! I realized that my expectations were pulled down to a much lower level! I was soo excited that I even had a counter on my blog and look how it turned out!!! :( Some guys and girls, by the look at what they were wearing, I just couldn't put myself to like them..I mean doesn't your personal style mirror who you actually are! I just couldn't make myself like anyone! I didn't even talk to anyone at all, except people from my old school, till the last period!

Finally, in the last period we were made to work in a group, when I discovered that one guy who was kinda acceptable. Nothing to say about the girls in my group who apparently denied that 'know-it-all' is an adjective!!! Uhhhh...I wanna go home, was all I could utter when we were finally over and the bell rung!

A lot of my friends shared my perception, those who were with me and those who were going to other colleges! Nobody had a good first day! :(

When I got home I explained my mom everything, and as motherly as she is, (isn't she supposed to be that?) she tried to make me understand that these things take time. It'll take a little time to settle in, until then I shouldn't act arrogant or anything. Just be friendly!

By the time, I was going to sleep, I promised myself that the next day I'll act a bit better and try to talk to people, socialize!!!