So I updated you on the first day of my junior year! And I gotta say that it absolutely sucked but, my third day...umm..not so bad! I discovered that some people, or should I say some guys in my class are really funny! Every time they talk, you just smile or giggle or sometimes even laugh!!
My Maths teacher is not that bad either, he teaches pretty well but there is one thing about him with is pretty....(wordless)....surprising! A patch of his hair, that are set on his forhead is white! A white patch on jet black, maybe he thinks that it makes him look intellectual or some...well it sooo doesn't!!! :P
Anyways, let's come to the topic I really wanna talk about in this post! It is something which uptil now has a huge impact on my life! I call it a test from God, I call it way in which my life asserted that it is not essential that you get everything! No matter how bad you want it!
Intrigued?? What is that thing which could get this bubbly Pakistani girl, numb with tears??? Let's start the time traveler ( A complicated machine voice) and....5th August 2008!
It was the second day of my school, my sophomore year, or what we call it here, Matric year (10 grade, after which is college or junior and senior years!), I was excited like hell, and why shouldn't I be? The names of the nominees for the student's council were to be announced! Now being a talented student, not only me but almost the whole school was expecting that my name would be announced as a nominee for the Head girl or maybe the President of the English Literary Society, but apparently it turned out that the faculty (who choose the nominees) didn't think so!
When the names were announced I was absolutely devastated to know that my name wasn't in it! Maybe I was expecting to much or maybe I just wanted it soo bad that when at first the names were announced I went absolutely NUMB! I hit me sooo damn seriously that at first I had no idea how deep the scar will go. But in the days that followed, I wasn't kept in dark much longer from the idea that how deep my scar is!
I looked at the people who were nominated thinking that I knew that I was better than a lot of them! But what could I do? Everything was out of my hands, what was to happen did happen and I just stood their watching it all happen! Powerless, voiceless!
I cried and cried for ages after that, 'cos I just couldn't believe that I didn't get something I wanted sooooooo bad! I had worked hard for it, it was a goal; an aim! But I just didn't get it!
And the biggest thing is it took me forever to get over it, in fact I rather say, that I am still not over it! I still have something, in the corner of my mind which mourns on how I lost! I mean I just have a flashback in my mind: I got sooo messed up, sooo lost! All I could think about was that, I even used to cry secretly in school, but apparenty nobody cared!
Those were really hard times of my life! I cried, got lost, cursed the faculty to my level best, wrote all the bad words I could think of in my diary about them and just kept crying all the time!
Back to 5 August 2009,
At night while I was revising my Physics lesson, I looked at the date on my leacture note book and I listened to the song "Somewhere I belong" from Linkin park 'cos that song really matched my condition word by word and I had listened to it on the night of the incident as well! I smiled at how much things had mattered to me, how much I mourned over what I lost and today I sit here smiling at those time, cos time is the best healer isn't it?
I have a bunch of opportunities waiting for me, a whole life in front of me! I smile at how just an year ago I had cried and cursed, and here I am today smiling at what had happened! For everything that happened, I believe the Almighty has a reason, which we as puny humans are to insignificant to understand! Whatever Almighty made happen has reasons, which are unquestionable! I have my faith, which I didn't have a year ago!
Anyways, so this is the story behind my 5th August! I categorize this day as a life changing one! Now I expect less and if I don't get anything maybe God has His reasons and I have my faith!!
Do you have any life changing experiences? Why don't you write in! Here is the song with words which reflect exactly how I felt that night!!
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