The way it is!

Last night I cried myself to sleep. I had been crying for more than three hours and I was extremely hurt. They say the ones you love the most hurt you the most and yesterday it was asserted.

I was sitting in the terrace yesterday with my cousins when my youngest brother joined us. He wanted the empty milk can I had in my hand. I refused to give it to him, at the same time my cousins were making harmless fun of him and asking him to go away. And then suddenly my brother got all aggressive and between all the argument for the milk can; slapped me my right in the face. So dumbfounded was I that I seriously didn't know what to do. My right cheek was aching and my cousins were giggling around me. The next thing I knew my eyes were burning and I couldn't stop myself from crying.

I ran downstairs and locked myself up in the bathroom for over an hour with my cousins banging the doors and shouting how immature I was acting and all that stuff. But you know, I wasn't acting immature at all 'cos I was extremely hurt. I had never felt this disrespected. I was hurt 'cos I never hurt my brothers or ever hit them. 'Cos I always sacrifice things I love for them. 'Cos I value them but I guess they can never understand that!

Anyway, my youngest brother never came to properly apologize and we are still not on talking terms and neither the eldest or the youngest even slightly bothered. But I guess, it's fine; rather than being hurt all the time by them, it's better not to talk to them!

Other than that, I would like inform that the month of Ramazan has once again enlightened us with it's presence. I posted about it last year as well. Ramazan is a month in the Muslim calender in which Muslims around the world fast and spend their time engaged in praying to Allah. We fast from dawn to dusk and during our fast not only do we prevent ourselves from eating but also from bad worldly deeds. Staying hungry from dawn to dusk enlightens us with the realization that how difficult it is for people who don't have food and water, to survive. Allah wants us to feel the pain of the needy ones which gives birth to the feeling of responsibility that we should help those in need.

I am already done with my first fast, and today is the second day of Ramazan. So for the next 28 days, every morning I'll be getting up before dawn to eat and then at dust I'll be breaking my fast. I really love Ramazans! :) They make me feel intimate with Allah.

My cousin visiting from Canada will be leaving this Sunday. So finally after two months I'll have my house to myself. with the usual people around. The summers have been so busy I don't believe time elapsed this quickly.

Well, that's all I had to say. Thank you for being such regular visitors every one. Love your comments.

Tata! :)

The devastating flood :(

I always hate switching on to news channels 'cos I hate listening to bad news. But running away from things doesn't change anything. It doesn't change the fact that my fellow country men lost or evacuated their houses due to the flood. It doesn't change the fact that the flood swept away 140 lives with it. It doesn't change the fact that every night millions of children sleep with an empty stomach, with extinguished hopes.

The flood

The worst flood in the last 80 years

Three million people affected

140 people died

Allah has been generous enough to keep us safe from this tragedy but a lot of others have been tested and they had to leave their houses to move to places that were not affected by the flood. The Pakistani government, as always, disappointed the citizens once again by coping with the situation slowly rather than being brisk with their actions. And although our forces are trying their best to rehabilitate the citizens, it's still not enough, 'cos when you're talking about 3 million people even the best efforts are less.

And then again a lot of people question that is this the best Pakistan can do?

Everyday, I feel guilty that I live such a life when my fellow countrymen starve. I sleep in my comfy bed when the houses of my fellow countrymen were flooded by rain water. I want to go to those places. I wanna work there. I want to see people smile. But I know that can't happen.

This blog post is a little effort to lighten that stain of guilt on my heart. Pakistanis all around are donating for the victims of the flood. You can donate too: Here are some links

Hadiya

Islamic Relief USA

You can Google donating sites too.

A break-through poem, end of writer's block!

Okay so remember how I mentioned about my irksome writer's block in my last post. Well, I am happy to announce that I am over that. And I came up with one of my most beautiful pieces of poetry I have ever penned (typed) today. Well, the truth is yesterday was a holy night according to the Islamic calender. Muslims stay up the entire night praying and fast the other day. I posted about it last year as well. (Click here to view that post)

Anyway, so I was praying last night and an inspiration struck me. It was about how lost I was and how God directed me to the right path. So today after my afternoon prayer I sat down to write my feelings. it was really difficult to get through the first two stanzas so I Googled 'writer's blog' as instructed by Gaalikae in her comment. Turns out writer's block is merely a phrase behind which writers hide to disguise their lack of focus or imagination or confidence. Believing in that, all I had to do is gather up some courage and write down whatever broken sentences came to my mind. Eventually, sentences started coming out more formatted and by the time I was through the 4th stanza, my poem was coming out in a real smooth flow. by the time I finished the piece I had to reformat it once or twice and reading it all over finally I was done. I was proud of what i had come up with. :) Really proud.

Well, it'll be really nice if you guys drop by my other blog and check the poem out. I would really like to hear what you have to say! :)

Tata! :)

Ouch..!

I am going through so much pain right now! My arms, legs, shoulder and back; every part is paining. I am sitting in the most rigid position ever and just my fingers are moving across the keyboard.

Wanna know why??

'Cos yesterday I played like crazy with cousins. We played all the games that required running and loads of energy. I had fun, but the thing is my body isn't used to such movement. I am a couch potato and running and playing 'tag' doesn't work for me. So look at me now, I wince at even the tiniest movement. :( But, at least I had fun. So I can bear the pain! :)

Anyway I have been really busy with my family lately and I hardly get time to do anything by myself. So today, while everyone was sleeping I sneaked out of the room and got hold of the computer. And here I am right now, writing a post while the other snooze away! :D

But you know what sucks these days, with all the things happening around me and so much to write about; I wonder why am I going through such a major writer's block. It's really irksome, you know. I get down to write something but nothing comes out. I feel like tearing the screen apart. I started writing a book and got through the first chapter easily. Then two days back I got some time and tried starting with the second chapter, but..BLANK.I had stuff on my mind but it wasn't able to find the right path to the screen. Uhhh... Writing is not working for me these days! :( Seriously!

I am kinda really missing my friends, 'cos it has been a long time since we last met and had a hell lot of fun. You know, it's fun being around family and all but when things start getting monotonous, I just don't have fun anymore. That's the worst part about vacations, monotony can't be kept at bay. School is better that way, at least not everyday is the same.

I am gonna end here, 'cos I seriously need to get a painkiller.

I'll leave you with a Korean song that has been a part of my Korean fever these days. Korean people are so cute! Ahhh! :)

Tata! :)

P.S: I would like my readers to leave links when they comment 'cos I always want to return everyone's comments! :)

Junior year examination result! :)

Okay this is gonna be a really short post 'cos I have been really really busy. I am writing this post to inform my readers the utter joy God bestowed on me lately in form of my junior year final examination result. I scored the 2nd highest percentage in my grade. MashAllah! :) I am so Happy and grateful.

My mom and dad are really happy too, although my dad has problems with my Math marks. He says I could have scored a little better. And I am disappointed a little about my English marks, 'cos I was expecting a little more in that. But over all, I am thankful and happy! :) And I would like to share this joy with you!

Tata! :)

'Boys over flowers' and the party! :D

Three words: Boys over flowers. Enough said.

Okay, so let me explain lately my cousin introduced me to the world of Korean Drama series and I am simply loving them! I watched 10 1-hour episodes in just like two days. It is so awesome. The story-line is extremely well developed. It is clean unlike the American teenage dramas I follow and most importantly it has a cast of the most cutest Asian guys I have ever had the opportunity of setting my eyes on. I mean seriously, they are so cute and the characters they play are so distinct and different and of course, like the story-line itself, well-developed! And by the way, when I say cute, I mean heart-melting, goosebumps-giving cute!

Other than that I just attended the annual dinner at my school this Wednesday which went well. A lot of my friends didn't come due to prior engagements. But anyway, I had fun, 'cos it seemed like junior year days; when I used to talk about random stuff and all of my friends made fun of each other and we laughed! :) Ahhh!

Anyway, I am gonna keep this short 'cos my cousin is waiting for me to finish so we could resume with 'Boys over flowers'! I leave you with a video of the show! :D

And Kim Bum (in the picture above) is the cutest of all cast! :)

Till, the next time;

Tata! :)

Solitude, finally! :)

I had a wild week but now I am finally all by myself with my computer, camera, a book and music.

All of my cousins were over last week and we had such a blast! We did this water fight thing which was really awesome and by the time we finished; all of us were soaking wet. We played games, weird games like 'Chinese whisper' and 'Charades' and... watched a really good no-words-to-describe-it Pakistani soap opera based on the history and making of Pakistan but all the boys kept interrupting with their stupid, insensitive comments at every romantic, intimate scene; which sucked. The girls were like 'Awwwww' and the guys were like 'This is crap' or 'Where does that happen'. I guess boys will be boys. (You can see the original score of that soap opera in the end of the post) Over all, I had loads of fun.

Anyway, now I am enjoying the long-awaited solitude, which might sound surprising coming from the same girl whose previous posts were about extreme boredom and loneliness. But since my cousin's arrival things have been so wild that I have been wanting them to slow down. A little time to myself; to think and work stuff out.

As usual a lot has been on my mind lately. Future, college, my last year in high school, courses I will take, my grade point average...Ugh I am so worried! :( I hope I get things right. InshAllah!

Other than that finally the once-in-a-year monsoon season has enlightened Karachi with it's wonderful presence. Yesterday in the evening I experienced one of the most beautiful rainfalls I could ever imagine. I climbed the rooftop and stood under the clouds as rain drops gently touched my skin. It was so beautiful. Everything seemed so serene. With every moment that I spent under the beautiful cover of the clouds my heart couldn't help admiring God and his wonders more and more. It was magnificent. I felt close to nature and everything around me. I embraced the solitude and it was so beautiful it almost made me cry! :)

Once the rain stopped I took some pictures, 'cos seriously I would never want to forget the evening ever. Though my pictures didn't do the weather justice but they aren't that bad. Here are few:

And finally as I promised, here is the original score of the the soap opera that is nothing like anything I have had the chance of watching before. Other-worldly. :) :)

I hope you liked it. The song is in Urdu (my national language) and the clothes adorned by the characters are all national dresses! :)

And finally,

Tata! :)